Total Eclipse of the Heart;

~~Tuesday, September 23, 2008~~

10:17 AM

Elo... Back to blog blog blog... I realised my blog is so empty... Anyway my blog not for people to read, more like a diary for me to read as I continue my life journey..

Went home rather shacked yesterday, probably not enough sleep, because I helped my brother Ervin with his roadshow dismantling.. Did not help much though... Still get 50 bucks... Sigh... So worried he not enough money...

Anyway so bored at home nothing to do, got trashed at DOTA, so switched to CZ, surprised saw so many pros there... Below are the people from XOL... many people hate this clan, but I find them quite ok, better than R][P, 'crab' clan... Saw Godfather, Saint, Krispy Kreme,Tyco, Fender and Warcry...

Was happily playing when someone said 'Polar Bear, are you Tian Lung?' I was stunned.. I replied 'Yeah, who are you?' He replied, ' 121 Sgt Leong'. OMG! Lol... Sgt Leong also will play CZ de... And he pawned me once at CT spawn lor, camping style lol... Not bad le wor, cos' he not a CZ enthusiast... He left a short while, wished can play with him again...

This Friday Ervin wanted us to go pubbing with him.. Dunno man... Money always seems to flow out... What should I do?

Befuddled PoLaR BeAr

expressing the emptiness inside me..

~~Sunday, September 21, 2008~~

6:49 AM

OO Hello.. Blog a while... Must update update mah... Of course don't be like Rain lor, so siao onz 1.. Never do much today... Have initial plans to go out with my JC friends, but no one wants to plan, I also very tired. So in the end got dismissed. Rot whole day at home, nothing to do, been playing CZ, then switched to CSS, then to Dota... Typical me.. This is how I cycled my games to ensure I don't get bored.

Late at night, not much programme to watch too.. Ensure my mother went to bed soundly before I continued my game... Nico Bro wanted me to play Dota with him.. Relented nevertheless... Hard to find someone who has same passion as you nowadays..Played till now, before I decided to blog a little... Received surprised sms from Adeline and Gui Qi to go down for Evelyn's birthday celebration, but think I will give it a miss... Seriously broke... Dunno what more can I do... Sebastian also told me to make myself available on 31st October for squadron anniversary... WHEE! I missed Ng MT, Tay PL, and people I really cannot forget during my stay in 121 Sqn...Going down to eat breakfast... Ciao dear peeps out there... Keep you guys updated of any activities...

expressing the emptiness inside me..

~~Wednesday, September 10, 2008~~

4:37 PM

Hi all out there... Finally have the spare capacity to go blogging again... Everytime reached home so tired... Life has been like that since the official launch of iPhone. It's only today I felt the excruciating pain from my spine that I decided to take medical leave. Since I got nothing better to do, might as well do some blogging, since someone on IRC said my blog is nice... Though I seriously don't feel so...

These few weeks have been going out damn frequently, from S11 clan chalet to IRC gathering to meeting up army friends... Life has never been so busy for me... Especially when your social circle gets wider.

Anyway recently my cz clan has been through many ups and downs, nearly on the verge of disbanding... Feeling sad, but I am a mere member, what more can I do? My 2 dear brothers Version and Ervin have put in so much effort to try talk Meepok(Clan Leader) round, but to no avail. Just hoping he will come down for Rain 21st b'day, but since he wanted to show such attitude, we will give up on him...

What should I buy for Rain? Necklace? Voucher? OMFG! Come on dude, Rain is not a typical Singaporean girl you will find. Her tastes differ a lot from other girls... Vouchers sound good... But not much sincerity also... So in the end, I thought of something that can give out a sense of maturity in her, to make up for her 'emoism'. P.E.R.F.U.M.E. Moreover I needed to go Chinatown Point to submit my timesheet... I accompanied Jenny there. Cos' we take turns to submit our timesheets, so transportation and time wise can save up quite a bit. Not very nice to throw her there alone, so walked with her. She wanted to look around for some cheap stuffs... She even rebuked she is an auntie... ZZZ... Who won't want cheap things? I don't want cheap lor, I want free!

I am unsure of the way around Chinatown, so Jenny brought me around. Minutes later we bade each other goodbye and I went into the perfume shop. I tested out a few samples, and imagine what smell will suit Rain... I imagined for near 20 minutes before I bought it. Rain, what I want to say is your Mr.Right is not there by your side yet, so let this little present of mine be able to give out something that you lacked.

After that chiong MRT to Tampines, sat bus 29, stopping at Cranwell Road. Ulu Ulu de, ambience not nice also... Cranwell Bungalow... What a name LOL! Reached there, balonglong don't know what can I do, all looked strangers to me. Saw someone I should not see... Want to puke, luckliy I came with an empty stomach... Watched TV, while waiting for Version to come... He came about 9 pm, and we chatted, waiting for Ah Chua to come before we tucked in... He came quite late, never took note of the time too, in the end we managed to talk to Rain, and as she talked, tears welled up in her eyes... Don't cry please... We talked till NoisyChild came... We are all S11 members, but yesterday first time saw NoisyChild... Busy dude, no choice, THINK LIKE ME MEH! Chiong taxi home, for fear my mother rant at me... Luckily she did not... Slowly felt she is not that tight, stringent on me anymore, and I felt awkward. This is the freedom she granted me I guessed, even past few days my outings I came back 6 am in the morning, not a word she complained...

Looking forward to Saturday, play basketball with Rain Version and Ah Chua... Feeling moody at times, I am 21 this year, but not 1 girl fancy me... Begin to wonder if I should lead a bachelor life... Getting despondent, but not desperate, getting hopeless but definitely not giving up. I knew I can do it, it's all how I gonna perservere...

Anyway these are some pictures taken with my army friends at Downtown East KBox, with Sammuir iPhone...

expressing the emptiness inside me..

~~Sunday, July 27, 2008~~

2:19 PM

Ehh.. I am terribly sorry, MIA for so long.. These few months have been slacking at home, not doing anything productive... 24-7 gaming non stop... Electricity consumption rising to giddy heights... Cooped myself at home, play, eat and sleep...

Finally got myself a job at Singtel. Temporary job though, hourly pay rate of $7/h. Basically my job scope is to process sales orders for MIO plans. People there are all generally nice, pretty easy to get along... Saving hard my money now, pretty delighted to see my bank account loading with money...

I realised that I have not kept in touch with my friends since I started my intensive gaming... Miss them a lot, especially my army friends, who had gone through thick and thin with me... Many desires now, including getting myself a suitable girl... It is hard, seriously hard...

-1st August (Mei I want my Oreo Cheesecake!)
-9th August (Organising a family steamboat, and watching NDP at the same time)
-15th August (My CS Clan first chalet)
-Somewhere in December (Hope to meet up with Michelle, a friend I made in Cabal)

Also finally met up with Jayme, a friend whom I met in IRC. We chatted heartily yesterday, and I promise I will go cycling with you someday...

I promise to update my blog entries more often, as I often find myself having little time for my leisure time... Is this a typical life of a Singaporean?

Despondent PoLaR BeAr

expressing the emptiness inside me..

~~Monday, May 5, 2008~~

5:01 AM

Hi all... Recently busy working, not much time for relaxation... So evident no time for blogging right? Anyway, working in a car sensor company now, very stressed indeed... Never feel happy working there... Always get scolded for no apparent reason... Haiz... Still miss my army days, where I was showered with so much love and concern... Life has never been that good in 121 Sqn...

Anyway back to main topic.. I was working on an alternate Saturday basis, so I told Edmund that there is a possibility that I may not make it for the lunch at Breeks... So he shifted the reservation time to 1300 H instead of 1200 H...

Immediately after work I made my way to Marina Square, with Mark's help of course... I Singapore bumpkin la no choice... I called Terrence and he said Breeks was at basement level... So I went basement and realised that it is a carpark... Lol... Luckily I managed to locate Bernard... He was looking desperately for an ATM machine... It was just so funny, looking at his lost face...

I reached there soon after, and began placing my order, upon seeing the guys had finished their main course, just waiting for me... The service there not really satisfactory... The people there seemed to me all act busy like that... Really infuriating waiting for my order... My spaghetti was served only half hour later, so I slurped the food... I finished within 5 minutes... We 'crab' for near half an hour... Talking about the good old JC days... About Mr Nordin etc... We ate our dessert soon after, before planning for a PART II... Initially wanted to go Swensen for some desserts, but Rahi last minute said he not going.... Basket... He somemore so enthusiastic, asking who wanted to go...

So after he left, we are left with Edmund, Terrence, Alex, Fauzie, Ming Zhi, Shabbir and Bernard... Initially wanted to watch 'Iron Man', but some said they have something on, and was afraid they may not make it... So in the end we decided to go bowl... Unfortunately the bowling alley was booked for some touranament, so we dismissed the idea and went to the poolhouse cum arcade centre opposite...They all opened a table while I and Bernard played Time Crisis...

Bernard very pro I must say, haha, scored quite a number of headshots... We played till beads of perspiration flowed down our cheeks... Wow... Never played tillthis intense before... After a round we played pool for three rounds, before closing table and went back to arcade gaming... Haha... We had great fun I must say....

We bade goodbye after everyone played enough... Nice gathering I must say, at least we managed to keep one another updated of what is happening around us... Looking forward to more of such outings....

Lots Of Love
PoLaR BeAr

expressing the emptiness inside me..

~~Saturday, April 19, 2008~~

8:50 AM

Guys... Finally ORD with my pink IC already... I was so excited... So went breakfast with Rong Jin at Joon's.... We ordered Nasi Lemak with additional dish top-ups... We ate and chit-chatted, while awaiting for our pilots to do a ground running change at the dispersal... Lol... He said he never see the process before, and will love to see it for himself... I remarked that it is something normal, just like how the pilots came out of the aircraft... He wanted to treat me for this meal, saying it was my last day here... So touched, anyway I rejected his treat... I hate the idea of treating people... And he was also not exceptionally rich, with a meagre NSF pay...

Yesterday was also not my last day, it was also Cpt Teck Chye's last day... So we planned for a 'Operation Rooster' (his tactical callsign is Rooster) before he leave us for FIC course at Pearce... So yesterday Sgt Jack and company went out to buy the 'stuff'... We were all so eager... Fortunately I never 'kena', because I was in military No.3 uniform...

Anyway his flight landed around 1600 H, so we waited patiently for him to walk in to squadron, everything was ready... The concoction, strings, the guys, all on 'standby'... Even the onlookers...

The concoction consisted of soya bean sauce, flour, pepper, and not forgetting our afternoon left over SFI food... Lol... There are some more inside, I am not too sure... We also bought eggs and flourescent light (Or is it phosphorous light?)

Upon stepping into squadron door, we raped him by stripping him all the way down, leaving only his brief as his sole protection from the torture... Then we carried him to his USO office, placed him on the table, and pour the phosphorous liquid on his entire body, of course not forgetting his brief... Wat is most happening is we took pictures of him with light on... Then we switched off the light, and his blody glowed so brightly... Man... How sexy he looked... Wakakakaka.... U guys should have seen it... So spectacular! Next we carried him to the back of the squadron, where we tied him to the fence with a strong string... He was already shouting 'let me die please, I don't feel like living already!' We ignored his plea and went along as planned... We hurled eggs at him, and don't underestimate the strength of an egg shell... It is certainly very strong... So we 'piak piak piak' non stop, and he can kick the egg somemore, as his final struggle to defend himself... It was really so funny... I and Rong Jin laughed non stop... Then we pour the concoction on him, followed by flour... He looked so 'koo koo' then...

We then set him free, and while washing up for him with a water hose, we asked for his opinion, he said, 'my private part really very pain!, think ants bit me...' Lol... wait long ah! It is the phosphorous liquid acting up boy! After his Bird Bath operation, he ran around chasing people to hug, hoping to stain us in the process.... Ah Leong always 'kena' chased by him, eventually he still 'kena'...

He went to wash up while the crew awaited for his debrief... Immediately after the debrief, we said, 'Mess lor!' Then we chiong to the Mess for pure fun... Mee Siam was served, and we played pool for about 1.5 hours before proceeding to KTV... We also played the finger guessing game with the bar girls... One was quite hot I must say... And we kept pressing Teck Chye to drink more... I feel he should... From a U/C pilot to a successful Unit Safety Officer, he certainly need some form of encouragement... I never drink alcohol, and because of him, I drank about 2 cans... I can stand no longer... Felt high and nauseous at the same time... Also started to feel emotional... I cried... I felt very sad, to leave the people there... I had never felt the emptiness this strong... I am proceeding to the next chapter of my life, but I cannot forget the people here... The memories, good and bad, will always be with me... Yesterday, Sammuir, Ah Leong, Sebastian, Sean, Teck Chye, Edward, Marcus and Wang Wang stayed to about 2230 H...

In the end, Sebastian sent me home, and many thanks brother! If not I would have puked on the bus... Band of Brothers....=P

Ok, gotta PS soon... Still need to find myself a job, stay funky to my blog readers out there...

Mike Tango my Brothers!
PoLaR BeAr

expressing the emptiness inside me..

~~Saturday, April 12, 2008~~

3:58 PM

Oh man... Really sorry guys... I had not blogged for so long... Really busy these days... Busy? How busy is an ORD personnel? Somebody will ask... Well... Busily downloading games I guess.. So long nvr go online also, so as to increase the bandwidth of the downloads... Lol... Lame right... Bo pian... Sign up budget Singnet plan...

Anyway got my pay on the 10th Apr... Was so shocked, because I got only $300, instead of the usual $420... I was so infuriated... I know the SAF won't cheat such money, but I want to know what is the reason behind this... Upon reaching squadron, I asked my colleagues... I was satisfied with the reason they gave... Sian... cannot go out also... Left with $80 after deducting my crew room fund, which I have owed for the past 6 months, and the premium of my investment insurance... Minus my handphone bill... $50? Lol... Never felt so desperate before... But heck la, hope can find a job as soon as possible...

Another route for me will be to study radiography at Nanyang Polytechnic... The course fees are funded for, and on top of that, you will also have monthly allowance... This is a cool option, first I can concentrate on my studies without having to worry, and secondly I can save money and also pay off my insurance... Anyway I am leaving my options open... Till the day comes for me to make a decision...

Yesterday went out with my pilots and loadmasters for maybe the last outing... I really love them to bits... Some people are leaving also, so we planned this outing, to catch up old times... I was surprised so many turned up... Me, Ah Leong, Marcus, Sammuir, Teck Chye, Edward and his spouse, Sebastian and Elmo... We planned for a KTV outing, so long never sing already... Sammuir drove, which was lucky for me... Not going to chiong taxi again... So sucky... We reached there about 7.30, but saw no one... Along the way, they said postponed to 8 pm... TMD...

We called Elmo, and he said he and company at Maxwell Food Centre... I had initial plan to go over there, but Sammuir dismissed the idea, saying it is too far... Ended up we ate dessert at Lau Pa Sa... It was about 1 km from the Partyworld KTV...

We sang very happily... Crabbing non stop... We sang till about 0030 - 0100 before deciding to go have a bowl... I was rather excited, because I have never bowl all my life... We intended to go to Marina Bay, but the first person upon reach the destination, told us that it had closed down... Funny I must say, along the way got road block... So the traffic police asked Sammur, who is driving, " Why your partner never put on seat belt? " Apparently I am a law - abider, so never got caught... Lol... Because the seat belt faulty, has sent for repair... Sammuir so adept at answering the traffic police... Can see he quite professional... Haha...

We decided to then go to Marina Square to play... And luckily for us, Marcus has the SAFRA card... So got discount.... We played two rounds, and my bowling skills really suck big time... Got two 'tyco' strike, other than that all go in drain... End up I the lowest... 48 points only... Lol... We were getting real hungry then, so we proceeded to Lavender Food Centre for supper... Partially we chose that place because it will be easier to disperse from there... Considering some lived in the East, some in the West... We ate 'Bak Chor Mee', and I was so so hungry... (From breakfast never eat till that time) I ordered extra noodles... We 'talk cock sing song' till 0330 H before bidding one another goodbye and RTB (return to base)

I really love this outing... Unfortunately Teck Chye going to Australia for FIC course, and I also leaving... Ah Leong leaving this August, and Elmo leaving next year... Feeling sad and many 'She Bu De'...

Many Misses
PoLaR BeAr

expressing the emptiness inside me..